Category: General Parenting

1. Lessons I’ve Learnt Since Becoming A Mummy

   Posted on 6:00am Thursday 1st Mar 2018

   

   10 things I’ve Learnt Since Becoming A Mum

   • The World Is a Scary Place – Everything affects you when you’re a parent, you worry for your children more than ever & you will do all that you can to keep them safe. 

   • Being a mum is bloody hard work – Its not easy, and anybody who says it is (is lying) Whether you’re a mum of one, two or even ten… parenting is hard!  

   • Never Underestimate the healing power of a hug – If you’re ever feeling down, a hug from your little one will make everything better. There has been a few times where I have just broken down in tears & a cuddle from my little girl has made the world such a better place to be. Parenting isn’t easy, so don’t be so hard on yourself. 

   • Parenting is not all sunshine & rainbows –  I hate to say it but quite often its shitty nappies, sweat and tears.. There will be days where you just don’t want to parent anymore, you will be running round the house like a crazy lady packing bags & getting everything ready to go to baby group for your child to do the biggest poonami ever which not only means that they’ve ruined their brand new outfit, but its also made you late for babygroup.. Sometimes its just easier not to bother, have a pyjama day & chill out! 

   • You will probably find yourself crying over the most ridiculous things – But that’s okay, parenting isn’t easy. 

   • You need to take wetwipes everywhere you go – We’ve all done it, we’ve all braved it and gone out without the changing bag.. Note to all new mums – Don’t do it! It is 99.9% guaranteed that the one time you don’t take it because its just a ‘quick pop to the shops’ your child will leak through their nappy and you will wish you had taken the changing bag in the first place. 

   • The Mum guilt is unreal – You will worry that you haven’t spent enough time with your little ones even though you’ve given them your full attention for most of the day. This happens to me all the time, I will spend a whole day entertaining my 1 year old but as soon as she’s gone to bed, I miss her like crazy and start to wonder if I’ve spent enough time with her.  

   • You will love more intensely than you ever thought was possible. – This is true, so very true. I have never felt a love like this before it really is amazing. 

   • When your child spills something on the floor, don’t shout & scream – just say ‘uh oh’ mop it up and carry on.. even if you did just spend all morning cleaning those floors. There has been a few times now where I have steam mopped the floors, blitzed the kitchen etc & my daughter has thrown a yoghurt on the floor or poured a drink everywhere.. It’s almost like they do it to test you. 

   • You probably won’t pee in peace ever again – Sorry, but its true. When your baby is young, good luck trying to leave the room without them screaming – the amount of times I used to have to take the bouncer into the bathroom with me just so that I could have a wee without my child screaming the house down. And I hate to say it but when they grow into a toddler you still won’t be peeing in peace, they’ll follow you everywhere.. and even if you close the door behind you I can assure you that they will be their banging on the door waiting for you to finish..

   Is parenthood different to what you imagined?

   Yes definitely, I don’t think you can ever really prepare yourself for becoming a parent.. You can try but nothing will prepare you completely. I have always wanted to be a mummy, growing up I was surrounded by baby dolls and I always loved looking after the other children in the family. Before I had my little girl all I ever saw pregnancy as was cute and exciting.. in which it is, but its not that easy. When I had my daughter I soon realised that the reality of being a mum is actually quite different to what I had thought.  

   Absolutely nothing goes to plan, pregnancy being one of them. There’s not really much point in a birth plan if you progress as quickly as I did (I was 10cm and already pushing when I arrived at the hospital) Weaning being another, I thought it would be plain sailing but Alyssia was diagnosed with a CMPA which made things 1000% harder. I was naïve, I thought that being a mum would be easy (lol) but in actual fact its bloody hard work.. I appreciate my own mum a lot more now. I thought that having children would make relationships so much better and we would be ‘family goals’.. I mean yeah, It has made us stronger in the long run and I love him more than ever now but at first I resented him so much and the tension between us at times has been unreal. If you want to learn about somebody else’s flaws – have a baby with them. Don’t have a good nights sleep for maybe a year? And If you are still in love after that, you know its real haha. Your sweet baby wont always be sweet, they’ll grow up one day and have a meltdown in the middle of a shopping centre. Parenting is hard work at times and anybody that says it isn’t is lying..

   Thanks for reading,

   Zoe x

   

   A little Bit About Mummy & Liss: 

    

   I'm Zoe, 19 years old and a young mama to Alyssia Grace. I run a parenting & lifestyle blog over at www.mummyandlissblog.com where I talk about all things mummy, toddler & baby related and love sharing my experiences as a young mum. I run my own guest post series called the #YoungMumsProject and you can find me on facebook, twitter & instagram. 

    

   Facebook: www.facebook.com/mummyandlissblog

   Twitter: www.twitter.com/mummyandliss_ 

   Instagram: www.instagram.com/mummyandliss 

    

   

2. Juggling mum life with everything else!

   Posted on 6:00am Friday 1st Dec 2017

   It’s not all doom and gloom when you become a Mum, you know. People will bang on about how little sleep you’ll be getting and how you’re always spending money on the kids instead of yourself... Well, I guess they’re somewhat true but, they’re only negative things if you let them be negative things. 

   Since having Millie, I’ve probably taken it upon myself to do more things for myself than what I did before I had her. I started blogging properly when I was pregnant with Millie, documenting my pregnancy and sharing her birth story too. Since then, I’ve dabbled in many things to try and give me something else to focus on and something that is just for me! I even did a degree with the Open university and I graduated last year!! 

    

   Some may call me crazy and I’ve always got people asking me ‘How do you do it!?’ and the simple answer is, I do it because I want to. 

    

   I have a few hobbies that have stuck with me over the years, and since having Mylo, have taken up a few more too. As mentioned, I have had my blog, www.notyouraverage.co.uk for nearly 5 years now - it’s my place to zone out, my way to be creative and talk about things I want to talk about, being with a 4 year old and a 7 month old all day is draining and it’s my escape sometimes. Knowing I can tap tap away or sit with a coffee and read through posts is relaxing to me and I really enjoy it. 

    

   Along with writing my blog, I also have my own handmade earring business, Pixel Stones. I make and sell these earrings to friends and family and it’s just something to give me a little bit of pocket money and I actually find it really relaxing! Make sure you take a look at the website. 

    

   I also am a Younique rep - Younique is a makeup brand which specifically is sold by reps all over the world. I joined Younique 2 years ago now because I just really liked the makeup and thought it’d be a nice way to get some extra cash in. 2 years later, I still love it and all of the products and it’s actually paid for a lot of Christmas presents! I also love the meaning behind why Younique was founded and it’s to help and support, including raising money, for victims of sexual violence. You can read more about it on their website if you like. 

    

   Don’t get me wrong - I’m super busy but that’s how I like it. I like knowing I have things to do during the day and the sense of achievement is fab. There’s nothing better than knowing there are some things out there just for you - no kids involved, but just a chance for you to be yourself. Having children was always something I knew I wanted but perhaps it just happened a little quicker than expected and is why I like to try and stay true to myself and ensure not everything is about the kids (even though it probably is!). 

    

   Do you have any hobbies or would you rather lap up parenthood whilst you can?” 

3. Don’t Judge a Mum by their cover 

   Posted on 6:00am Wednesday 1st Nov 2017

    

   Hello, I'm Maya, a first time mum to a beautiful baby girl who is now 4 months old. I hadn't expected to become a mummy so soon but I have fallen in love with motherhood and my baby girl takes my breath away every time I look at her- I feel so lucky. I am now sharing my experiences and stories with you, so if you would like to read more feel free to check out my blog over at allthingspinkuk.com

    

    

   

    

   For some reason being a young mum seems to give everyone the right to 

   pass judgment on you. Announcing a pregnancy often does cause a big 

   reaction and you would hope for it to be a positive one, but for most young 

   mums this is not the case. I guess I can't speak for everyone, but it seems as 

   though 9 times out of 10 a young female is faced with a mixed reception 

   when she shares her news. The negative comments received often take over 

   the initial excitement of it all, and to me it just doesn't seem fair. I mean, 

   would you turn round to an older woman who just announced she was 

   expecting and respond with, 'was it planned?'. Or 'are you going to keep it?' 

   Having a baby is a blessing and whether it's a surprise or if you've been 

   trying for months, what has that got to do with anyone else. 

   In my case those were the most common questions that were thrown at me, 

   but I also had the pleasure of receiving sly digs from those who felt I'd like 

   to hear their opinion, (I didn't!). They would say things like, 'it's a shame 

   you won’t get to do the things you'd hope to', and 'don't you wish you had 

   experienced life a little?'. Well first of all, for that individual to insinuate 

   that I won't be getting the opportunity to do everything I wished is 

   completely wrong. I am just as motivated, if not more, and in as good a 

   position as any to still go out their and achieve every single dream I have on 

   my bucket list. This idea people seem to have stewed in their minds about 

   younger mums being restricted to living a life of changing nappies, and 

   wiping noses are completely ludicrous. My daughter is the driving force 

   behind everything I do now, and she will always come first but she hasn't 

   taken over my individual identity. As much as I am a mother, I am also a 

   writer, a friend, a girlfriend, an actress, a business woman and all the other 

   things I choose to be. 

    

   So I would love to know where these ideas stem from; and why people 

   think that at a younger age you are less adequate to raise a child. Being a 

   new mother already puts you under the spotlight as it is. All the health 

   checks and midwife appointments after baby is born aren't set up as tests, 

   but I can't help but feel nervous, as they sit there watching me handle my 

   new born. Before they pull out their scales, weighing her to make sure she's 

   put on enough weight, and checking her body for any marks. I wait with 

   anticipation, almost to get the all clear that I'm doing things right. Then of 

   course there are the visitors that come round after the birth to see you, and 

   silently judge whether or not they think you're a good mum. It soundspretty cynical of me I know, but I don't think it's a conscious decision to 

   witness a situation, and not create an opinion in your own head. I have 

   huge amounts of admiration for younger mothers, because they have to 

   deal with all of that, as well as the judgments people pass on their age. It's a 

   lot. One of the inspirations I had for writing this post came from a 

   collection of comments my health visitor made during our 3 week check up. 

   After seeing my daughter was a healthy weight, that I was managing to 

   breastfeed, and that everything else was okay, she light-heartedly said, 'I 

   have to say I'm impressed with how well you're doing'. Before adding, 'you 

   would put some of the older mums to shame'. I know she intended for these 

   comments to be complimentary, but it came across in a condescending 

   way. Her words subtly communicated her opinion that she was surprised 

   by the positive example I had made of a new mother; having expected me 

   to be struggling a lot more in comparison to those who are older. Well I'm 

   glad I was able to "impress"! but you shouldn't have had such little faith in 

   me in the first place. 

   So in conclusion here's what kind of "young mum" I am... I'm kind, 

   thoughtful and loving. I'm a little bit silly and have a playful nature. I get 

   worried about little things, so am constantly checking in with Google. I'm 

   completely besotted with my baby, my boyfriend and our little family. I'm 

   excitable, and get giddy about the future, and watching my baby grow. I'm 

   imperfect, but I learn from my mistakes. I'm super organised, and obsessed 

   with items having their own place. I love the company of friends, but also 

   the company of social media! I'm squeamish but have a high tolerance for 

   pain. I love putting together outfits for my daughter every morning. I still 

   hold my breath when I change her pooey nappies. I try and take her out 

   every day, mostly to keep my own sanity. I am learning on the job, but I'm 

   motherhood's most keen student. 

   ...Is that so different to every other mum? Do those qualities show that I am 

   young in age? And if they do are they bad qualities to have in Mum? 

     

   Maya x 

    

   

    

    

4. 11 Lessons ALL New Moms NEED to Learn

   Posted on 6:00am Tuesday 1st Aug 2017

   “I am proud of many things in life, but nothing beats being a mother.”
   Unknown

   1. You don’t care about being naked, seriously! Before I had E, I used to have an anxiety attack before each and every PAP appointment. I actually had an “after school special” at work deciding on whether I should get a Brazilian for birth, such trivial things but those were my absolute concerns, now HA, the number of times I’ve had to strip down during the pregnancy/birth process, I could care less!

   2. No one and I mean NO ONE’S OPINION MATTERS. This is something you will learn once you’re visibly pregnant. The amount of “out of left field” advice I got was mind-boggling. I remember being told everything from my clothes were too tight to I’m starving myself because I’m vain.

   What many people didn’t know is, I was sick the entire 41 weeks of my pregnancy. So I only gained about 5 pounds (my mother had the same kind of pregnancy), so people were always commenting that I wasn’t eating or I was starving my baby to be skinny, when it was the total opposite, I was eating like crazy, but nothing would stay down (if you can imagine I was actually sick while making a left turn at a busy intersection, FML). Just like the unsolicited advice I got while pregnant it only snowballed after birth. What I didn’t realize back then is sometimes it’s better just to smile and nod than to fight the advice.

   Everyone is going to have an opinion on how you should raise your child and what you should be doing, DO YOU! You know your baby the best, and you’ll have to deal with the repercussions of the advice so only do what makes you feel comfortable.

   3. Breastfeeding isn’t easy for everyone. I’ve had people shame me (to my face) for not breastfeeding my daughter, and all I’ve got to say is, do what works for you and your family. I believe that FED IS BEST.

   4. Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. I used to say I’ll never co-sleep. My baby will be in her crib from day one. Well, it wasn’t until she was 4.5 months that we started sleep training her, so before that, she was in our bed, every night, sleeping on top of me. So go with the flow and never say never. 

   5. Do not compare your pregnancy or your child to anyone else. No two pregnancies (even from the same mother) are the same so how can you expect your baby to develop the same as another? Trust me, all you’re going to do is set yourself up for disappointment. Enjoy your baby’s milestones, they’re their own perfect human and should never be compared

   6. Sleep when the baby sleeps is shit advice. I’m sorry. If I slept when E slept, nothing would get done.

   7. Mom groups are a godsend. My #octoberpumpkins are the reason I’m still sane. We have meet ups and subgroups; they’re always there when I need them, and a couple of them live close by, so maternity leave hasn’t been too lonely.

   8. You’re stronger (mentality and physically) than you think. I’ve never gone on 3 hours of sleep and still functioned enough to clean the entire house and host a dinner party, but this mom is tougher than she used to be!

   9. Make sure you’re looking after yourself. I always use this example; you know how on a plane they say put your mask on first and then help your family? Makes sense right? If you’re not okay how will you look after your little miracle? Obviously, baby’s needs are important but make sure you’re looked after as well.

   10. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. While you are tougher than ever, sometimes you’ll need some help, and you shouldn’t be ashamed to ask family or a close friend.

   11. You’re doing great! I know sometimes it may seem like you’re failing, but baby doesn’t know. Don’t sweat the small things – you’re trying, and that’s all that matters.

    

   DEE HAIDER is a mother, blogger and wannabe farm girl living in a suburban city in Ontario, Canada. While on maternity leave her days are filled chasing her extremely loud daughter and two cats that have an insane amount of personality. She blogs to keep herself somewhat sane, writing about her personal style, life as a busy mum, and interior design. Check out her fun-loving and honest lifestyle blog at theHaiderHouse or find her on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.